when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
