I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
