Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
