You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
