Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
