I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
