you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
