I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize