Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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