actually, I'm a sock model
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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