I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
