barbara walters just said penis...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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