You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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