So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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