Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
