Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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