I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
