Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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