so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
