we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
