Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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