How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
