She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
