i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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