im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How's work?
Spinning.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
