i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
