wanna go halves on a baby?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize