I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
