how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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