This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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