The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You are the jesus of drinking
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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