she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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