I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
