...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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