She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i think im in europe. pls send help
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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