WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
