Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
