Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Dignity is for republicans.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
