I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
