and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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