there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
