TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
