i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
