im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
