Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
