Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
