I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
