Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
