i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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