so that wasnt chicken after all
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
