Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
