I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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