Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Boobs speak an international language.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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