I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
