I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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