I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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