just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
